Visions of the UnBird

Several years ago, someone in my neck of the suburban hills apparently let loose a couple of turkeys.  Or so the story goes.  Where they came from, no one knows, because they are not native to California, but flocks of them are now everywhere. Everywhere, as in my yard, drinking from the pool, blocking my driveway, flying away from my dog and one of my cats, Merlin, who has now learned the art of stealthily stalking a turkey 10 times his size.  They roam in packs, leave sizable excrement in my courtyard, climb all over the roof, cackle and caw, and never cease to amaze me with their antics and beauty -- especially when the males are in a courting mood and display their plumage like a Japanese fan. 

They have the ability of raising the ire of some folks as well. Last year, I saw one neighbor chase a flock out of his yard, threatening to reduce their population by Thanksgiving (I don't think he did).  In my house, especially around this time of year, they add to the holiday ambience, providing natural decor right out my window.  While, we inside, of course, dine on UnTurkey.

The UnTurkey was one of my claims to fame, a product that once sold nationwide, holding title to being, according to the natural food industry's biggest market research company, the second leading turkey alternative in the country. It's always a chuckle to tell people this, as most people wouldn't know what even the first was (Tofurkey, for god's sake).  Of course, we thought it should be first -- after all, it was somewhat shaped like a turkey, stuffed with a delectable bread stuffing reminiscent of your grandma's, all enrobed in a succulent and tasty "skin" made from yuba (but maybe that's why it was second -- perhaps vegetarians didn't want to be reminded what was being replicated).  After I sold Now and Zen in 2003, the UnTurkey made several more appearances at holiday time under the banner of the company that bought it, but then disappeared two years ago when the company folded.  

One day, while surfing the net, I came across  www.unturkey.org, a website that bemoaned its loss from the marketplace and stalwartly promised its followers to provide instructions on how to make it in their own kitchen following the recipe in my first, no-longer-in print, cookbook.  I was thrilled!  I didn't even care that they had plagiarized my recipe without my permission!  Well, the good folks from www.unturkey.org are back again this year, posting even improvements to my original recipe, doing their bit to save a few more turkeys. So check out their site and embark on your own UnTurkey cooking adventure!  

Every year, it's a struggle.  Whether to make the traditional bread stuffing (so good, and only enjoyed once a year) or something unique and interesting. So I usually settle the question by making both.  The same goes for the Thanksgiving centerpiece -- I guess I could get creative and put a different main entree on the table each year, but in my opinion, Thanksgiving is not the time to mess with tradition.  So it's UnTurkey all the way. And would you mind passing the UnGravy?